BO18

Here I am again.

Sorry for not posting at all the last couple of days. I've been busy with all sorts of stuff, good and bad.
First the good. I have found an appartment, and contrary to what I posted earlier, we actually managed to find one in the central area of London. Shepherds Bush. I have a view on the BBC Television Centre, so it couldnt get any better.
Another "good" thing is that you should keep a close watch on this http:///www.maghrebism.com
I'm not done yet but I'm planning to move this blog for a while now. I'll keep you all updated.

Now the bad news. Today, totally unexpected, my boss told me that my position became redundant. In other words, I have no job, jobless, chomeur. This is my last week and I'm really really pissed. Especially because I have to pay a deposit for the apartment of about 1000 pounds.
I'll manage to find another job though, I always do. And especially now I have an UK-reference (my boss told me he's happy to give me a reference for other jobs) But its just shitty.
I was planning to go on a holiday in June to Amsterdam, but I cancelled that. Its all work, work, work now.
This whole year has been with a lots of ups and downs for me. London is a great city to live in, but the UK is a shitty country to live in.

But I'll keep you updated on when the moving of this blog is completed. (its really difficult:S)

Anyhow, sorry for not posting!

Cheers from Londonistan!

I didn't post for a whole week now and partially all my fault (ok almost entirely all my fault)

Emily (my flatmate-to-be) and me have been viewing apartments this whole week. And we noticed, that it isn't that hard to find affordable apartments in inner-London. London is divided into 6 travel zones. We're aiming for Zone 1 & Zone 2 , north of the river Thames. South of the river are the ghettos (where teen-gangs started a gun and knife-cult) so we don't really want to live there. Zone 1 & 2 are the areas with all the landmarks and our universities.
We just have to accept the fact that we probably going to move in to a very ugly flat and not a Knightsbridge apartment with a view on Harrods.

On top of all this apartment-hunting, I've also encountered humongous money-problems. My employer forgot to pay me! I was supposed to get my pay last Wednesday but I never received it. And the 2 persons responsible for all the paying etc are on a holiday until next Tuesday.
So I didn't get to pay my rent, which resulted in a fine of 12.5% of the total amount. Besides that, my ticket to Amsterdam in June got cancelled because I didn't pay. ( I booked the ticket a while ago and I had to pay this Friday but since I don't have money I couldn't pay)

So its been a pretty hectic week and now I have a hang-over. Yesterday it was Queensday here in London. So I had a lot of Dutch herring, fries with onions, mayonnaise and sate-sauce. And fresh Dutch waffles! Oh and beer, lots of beer.
(pictures of me eating fries, drinking beer, eating cheese and pictures of Dutch in traditional clothes coming up soon hehe)
The real Queensday is tomorrow in Amsterdam. It will be the first time that I wont attend. Usually we hire a boat, buy a barrel or 2 of beer and "sail" through the canals of Amsterdam. And ending the day really drunk in the Vondelpark or at a rave-party somewhere at the docks.
It's the best holiday ever! If you ever visit Amsterdam, come at the end of April. Imagine Amsterdam as 1 big, orange coloured, garage-sale with hundreds of thousands happy people. (I included some pictures at the end of this post)

A little preview (its this x1000)




In the meantime, Eatbees nominated me for a Thinking Award. Thank you!
Now I have to come up with other blogs/persons I want to give the award to.
I won't do that now because I have no time. I have a viewing and a Darfur-rally to attend.
I'll be posting a lot this coming week.

And oeh yeah, you know the changes I talked about in my previous post? Well, I kind of already started but I need my pay first:P

A 100 posts already, that went quick!

It's actually fun. Again I went to thank all the readers and commenters!
And I want to say that there gonna be some changes. When I started this blog, I promised myself a little treat if I reached 100 posts.
Somewhere this week I'm going to change something about this blog.

Anyway, thank you again! And to celebrate I'm going to posts links to one of the best Arab movies ever made!
I found it by accident on Youtube and I was so happy! I stayed up till 5 in the morning just to watch it. I remember that we watched it every Ramadan and it was sooo exciting (although we knew how the story went and finished)
It's an islamic movie about the first days of Islam. And the actors can actually act! Not like those Syrian actors in those Ramadan-series where everybody seems to wear shiny clothes in bright colors decorated with feathers and huge diamonds.

I give you Al-Risala!! (French subtitles)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

(ps I didn't know that the movie was shot twice at the same time but with a different cast and language. The English-version is apparently with Anthony Quinn playing the role of Hamza)

Today my best friend went back home.
So I have time to blog again, yeah! (I think)

His stay here in London was the best thing ever happened to me, since I moved here.
We talked, got drunk, talked, walked, got drunk, talked and Starbucks'ed during the last couple of days.
And he made my day with his super-funny fraternity-humour! He is a typical white dutch frat-boy with typical white Dutch frat-humour, read: rude, bit discriminating, cynical and yet educated.

And now I'm homesick.
But that will fade away by next week I guess (pay-week hehe)
And I'll see him again in 2 months time.

Anyhow, I'm back!

Euh yeah, I've been very lazy in blogging and checking other blogs this couple of days.
This Monday I started my new job and I actually have to work hard! And I walk everyday 1 hour to and 1 hour from my job back home.(since I ran out of transportcard-money)

So it kind of figures that when I come home, I'm extremely tired. I hope I'll get used to this new routine as quick as possible so I can get back to my normal internet& blogging routine ;)
This weekend I won't be posting anyhow. My best friend is visiting me from Holland. So I'll probably be busy shopping with him and getting drunk.

But one little thing, I have beghrir and rghaiaf for lunch! There is a North African lunch-cafe just down the street from where I work.

See ya!

Today I woke up to be a very happy and lucky person!

I got accepted for a course that I really wanted to enter (last year I didn't get accepted)
So starting next year I'll be studying Peace&Conflict-studies! Woehoe!
I'm just waiting for another application at another university for a similar course. If I get accepted for that one I'll have a hard time deciding which one I'll attend. Oh luxury-problems.....

Another reason for me to be happy is that today I finally got a decent job! And I seriously believe that I got the job because I talked about the style-goddess Farah Diba. The person interviewing me was a really nice Persian girl.

Sorry for the light-blogging.
I'm too busy writing boring papers on India-Pakistan and finding a decent CV-worthy job (which proves to be really difficult here)

But I hope I'll be done by this midweek.

I have been thinking lately about my "Moroccanness" , yes thats a word!
As a young, 2nd generation immigrant in Europe thinking about your "somethingness" (thats a word as well) is quite normal.

I started evaluating my Moroccanness. Do I still speak Moroccan/Darija properly? Do I still know how to make briouat and am I still able to gossip Maroqui when I meet up with fellow distorted Moroccan..er..hipsters?
I know that these points above aren't exactly a good basis for the evaluation. But there were other points as well. Like guilt/shame etc. Let's say that there are a lot of points. OK?

So I decided to meet up with some fellow distorted Moroccans in Maghrebtown (Notting Hill Road and surroundings, Moroccans are quite upmarket here in London hehe)
I, or we, came to the shocking conclusion that my level of Moroccanness plummeted in recent years.


I was thinking that I can hardly call myself Moroccan anymore. I dont know how to make briouat anymore, my Darija is lousier than that of a baby and gossip Maroqui irritates me (gossip maricón is still ok)
Besides that I just don't feel really Moroccan.
I havent been to Morocco for 6 years, I shunned it for its ignorance and other reasons.
My reckless idealism decided to play tricks on me and telling me that I should shun Morocco for its backward culture and politics. So I did.
Let me clarify the "backward culture" stance. I regard every culture or state as backward when religion and modern conservatism are playing a major role.
And sadly in Morocco, modern conservatism is on the rise (from hear-say that is)

And besides that, I lived in the Netherlands (NL) until a while ago. And I never saw any resemblance between my family and that of most other Moroccans in NL.
Now I have to say, and this may sound quite snobby, that my family's position both in Europe and in Morocco isn't like that of most immigrant-families. Especially my mothers side. We're quite westernized if I may say so.
My mother always told us that most Moroccans in NL are "so3ian" and "kleb" (dogs). My family in Morocco used to say the same thing about Moroccans in Morocco.
I know very bad, but I can't hardly change their position on it.
My fathers side of the family are from the Rif mountains, so I wont elaborate on that. Thats kind of pretty clear.

So the "Westernized" family combined with me being even more "Westernized" has led to a failing Moroccan identity.
Now most of the time I dont have any problems with that. I always doubted the validity of a national identity.
I mean we all need passports and so on, but it is the feeling that I always questioned.
I regard it as dangerous and as a prelude to ignorance.

I'm all pro global and globalized culture. But we all know that the globalized culture is failing somehow. We're still global but regional global. We all, eventually, fall back to "our" region.
In my case that would be both Morocco and the Netherlands, like all other second generation immigrants.
But as you kind of guessed, it would be like that but it isn't.
In my case its nothing. I'm regionalless (thats a real word as well and thats a fact!)
Another sign that my "Moroccanness" is failing.

And you know what? I'm actually proud of it. It takes alot of practice and time to dispose yourself of the cultural shackles.
Its just that you feel naked afterwards, but I don't have problems with feeling naked.

Myrtus tagged me today (or was it yesterday?), to tell 5 anecdotes about myself.

Since this is one of my first posts, I thought it would be a good introduction.
So here we go :)

Anecdote number 1:



Mmmm, let me think. This could be embarassing you know. Anyhow.
I have these strange dreams, the only dreams I can remember actually.
I keep on dreaming that I'm having a nose-job. It sounds really weird I know but I think there is an explanation.
I was always very insecure about my nose. Its big and its there. Since my 18th I always wanted to have a nosejob. I honestly believed that having a nosejob would improve my life and my career *ahum*
I actually went to a clinic and talked about it. The face-molestor was ofcourse very excited and almost convinced me that I should have an operation. I kind of played along.
But when I went back home I realized that having a nosejob wasnt something for me.
I kind of saw it as losing, being a loser. You dont run away from your problems and you dont run away from your insecurities. You just have to cope with them.
Et voila, I still have my precious, big nose.

Anecdote 2:

I voted conservative once. Yes, I know I should be ashamed of myself. Bad BO, bad BO!
Conservative, as in Dutch conservative. That means VVD. The so-called liberals. They are pro-euthanasia, pro-gaymarriage etc. But very conservative on immigration issues and that kind of caca.
I was convinced that they were the party that I should support. Maybe it had something to do with my identity-crisis. I kind of believed back then that I was more Dutch than arab(moroccan). And that I should support them since they were anti radical islam.
But after the elections I found out that I'm not Dutch nor Moroccan. I'm just me. I'm everything. And I'm a true liberal not a VVD-liberal.
So I was very lucky when the government fell (again), and I finally voted for a party that was representing most of my beliefs.

Anecdote 3:

Oeh this one is kind of nasty. I have tricked men into meeting me in Casablanca. Hehehe.
Well I was on a holiday there and I needed some fun.
So I went out, to the local bars and clubs and went hunting. And I thought it would be fun if I made dates with them, all on the same time. And boy were they cute! But I didnt feel like dating them cuz its always the same story with a lot of moroccan guys (not all of them ofcourse).
When they find out that you're from algaridj (foreign country) they'll harass you for adresses where they can "stay for a holiday". Yeah sure.
So I had 5 dates after almaghrib (a prayer time) at the Twin Center. I didnt bother to even check if they were there. I was to busy binge-drinking on the beach.
And I think that they didnt show up anyhow or showed up Moroccan time. (which means that they were 3 hours late)
So no harm done I hope. I just need to do this from time to time. I know very wrong, but kind of fun.

Anecdote 4:

Sometimes I can be very, very prejudiced. I think we all are a bit.
And it is kind of scary. I mean its based on shit. Right?
It is actually very wrong and ignorant when I walk down a street and check my pockets everytime I group of ethnic youngsters walk by. I mean, I'm an ethnic youngster myself! How weird can it get!?
A while ago I read a column in a British newspaper where the columnist described the exact same situation.
He declared that he turned into a suburbian, middle class guy. And that that explains why he is so prejudiced from time to time.
I kind of understand that. But I dont want to be a suburbia boy. I'm not ready for hell yet.

Anecdote 5:

I once stole books from a bookshop. And I didnt get caught. How cool is that?!
Stealing is a "sin" and its bad. But I want to try everything once (hence my drug-experimenting)
I never stole a candy or a cookie when I was still a kid. I knew that my mother would go nuts and call the whole family to complain and worry that I would end up a gangster or something like that. So stealing was a big no-no.
But this time I had to do it. But it were good books, so I got something out of it. I stole Caesar's Gallic Wars and a Naguib Mahfouz book.
I still have them but I cant look at them. I read them though, but everytime I look at them I slap myself for stealing.
Silly me.


Now I know I should tag 5 other people. But I dont know who. So give me time to think ( in normal english that means: I'm never gonna tag anyone)

I'm back, I dont know for how long. But at least I'm back.
And this time in English.

My old blog http://arabesque.web-log.nl/ is done. Well, I kind of got tired of it.
I moved to London now. So that deserves something un-dutch. Hence the new blog-platform and the use of English as my main language.

Expect me to rant about books, the middle east, far east, london life and gorgeous girly stuff.
I'm a dysfunctional, disorientated, very confused young arab guy. So beware.